Children, work, hobbies, all have to be balanced with self-care. Once we become depleted, expect too much from ourselves and each other, our marriages, bodies and lives suffer.
Let me tell you a story about one particular family. Successful, huge heart for the world, life, faith, beautiful and large family, not overly materialistic in their pursuits, but comfortable and genuinely caring in their efforts. I used to see them from a distance and call them the "perfect family".
After watching several seemingly "perfect" families and people fall apart, I have started to think that it's the ones who wear their hearts and struggles on the sleeves that may be the healthier ones. They are the real ones who don't need to keep up appearances at all costs. They muster through the trenches of life, not making any apologies for the sweat on their brow or the wrinkles on their skin.
Depletion is when we have nothing left to give to anyone after a full day's work, constant pokes from people via emails and advertising, texts, working out, feeding children and housework... We need to give to ourselves in order to give to others, and instead of seeking and adapting to impactful change that would allow for more down time, we want or have to keep going even if it means giving it all up or watching our families fail. There is the reality of what change will bring and whether everyone wants to subscribe to what is needed. Letting go of our wants and expectations for something seemingly less is difficult, even if it ends up being something more that we just can't see at the time. Coping strategies are helpful, but also change over time and are hard to figure out. The odds are stacked against us with what it takes to succeed in this hyper-efficient and over-productive America.
It breaks my heart to see the man and/or woman in the midst of a mid-life crisis and not be able to rescue them. They are in the desert. I see them every day. They are beautifully and innocently vulnerable to all the things that will serve to teach them life's hardest lessons, if they don't break in the process. God bless them all and carry them through the coming storms.
