This is straight from the Camino Guides Online Self-Assessment:
o How do you differentiate pilgrimage from a long distance walk?
AJ: A long distant walk does not necessarily include spiritual meaning, though it may have spiritual value. There is more of a sense of being a tourist, viewing, more of the physical external rather than seeking for inner enlightenment or growth. A pilgrimage is a journey that I would think would reflect metaphors in life in its length and breadth, helping us retreat from the conventions of whatever context we come from in order to become part of a greater more inclusive one. I expect that I will not want to return, and in my return will seek to harness the meaning in my ‘normal’ environment and circumstance.
o How do you define spirituality – what does it mean to you?
AJ: I am a Christian who has followed a winding path to what is now my current spirituality. I see it as an integral part of who I am, I see my limitations in being disciplined in my practices, as important and easy as they may be to access. It is a conscious choice of submission to something greater, which means setting aside our self-importance and being pleasantly relieved and sustained by the resources at our disposal. It means the difference between hope and survival and despair and defeat.
o How is your spirituality expressed at home and at work?
AJ: I have my books and symbols. I try to spend time reflecting on things in such a way that would help me address people and problems from a greater perspective. I talk to God throughout the day, for lack of other being that would see things the same way. I try to honor the truths and lessons of the Bible, because they have helped me in life more than trying to live by any other way.
o How can you distinguish the souls agenda from the ego’s script?
AJ: The soul’s agenda seeks and receives without plan or expectation. The ego’s script seems to control and have certain results based on an engineered life.
o What do you see as the primary purpose of your life?
AJ: My primary purpose over the last 20 years has been to try to raise my children in very challenging circumstances. That is my priority and I feel God has supported me in that respect. My primary purpose as I move forward is to continue helping the world in the ways I can and have talents for. Much of the definition of this is in flux and part of the reason for why I am embarking on this journey.
oAre you working consciously towards fulfilling that purpose?
AJ: Yes. I am active in several charitable missions, although I feel like I am limited in seeing the fullness of it because of the society I live in.
o How clear are you on your goal and the right direction for you at this time?
AJ: I am going forward in the way that is being laid out for me. I don’t see too many options. I pray that God makes my path clear, and even in it’s lack of clarity, I feel it is evolving as it should.
o How will you recognise resistance to any changes that might be required of you?
AJ: I will feel a pit in my stomach, a recognition of a need for self-examination, and a determination to address those changes as best as I can.
o When did you first become aware of a desire to take time out?
AJ: As early as I can remember.
o What prompted you originally to go on the camino?
AJ: It was something I had heard or read about a long time ago during other travels, I kept reading about it over the years, and put it on my bucket list for a time when it was possible. Many, many years later, I feel the time has come.
o Did the prompt come from something that you felt needed changing?
AJ: The prompt came from change itself.
o Make a list of what appears to be blocking any change from happening.
AJ: Nothing, change is happening. Change always seems to happen more for me than most. Change for me would be shifting to no change, and I don’t know if that is possible in life.
o What are the joys and challenges in working towards your unique potential?
I get to experience new places and people, use my gifts and body in the pursuit of something great. My health is not perfect and I do not know how several weeks of walking will affect it. I believe withdrawal from my daily routine will be a big challenge as there are many things underway at home that I am usually used to keeping an eye on. My father worrying about me, me worrying about my children. Some times when I may feel like quitting, but honestly, I see this as a huge reprieve and much needed retreat from many of the things that have weighed me down in life for so long.
oWhat are your next steps towards fulfilling that potential?
AJ: Trying to take care of everything I can before I go in a way that will allow me to be more present and enjoy the Camino.
o What help might you need on a practical, emotional and spiritual level?
AJ: Advil, comfortable shoes, stretching, training, friends and colleagues to support my endeavor, prayer for strength, peace, and health.
o How will you recognise the right help or correct answer?
AJ: Things will come together, I will persevere. Truth will be revealed in a way that I recognize it according to God’s word.
o How aware are you of the following? Score yourself on a level of 1 – 10 (10 being very aware etc) and compare these scores again on your return from the camino.
oAwareness of your inner spiritual world:
AJ: 8, most of the time it is a mix of dark and light, I would like to see more light in it
o Confidence with your intuitive sense of knowing the right direction:
AJ: 8, although it seems to be the road less travelled, I’m ok with that, and I think I will find comrades in this respect on my journey
oClarity on what inspires you and the capacity to live your passion.
AJ: 8, I cannot always define what inspires me in people and in life; energy, a sense of adventure, a sense of humor, a greater sense of being. The capacity to live my passion is coupled with a complete incapacity to live a life I am dispassionate about. Perhaps that is why I am always surrounded by change, needing to be creative about the world in meaningful ways that do not stagnate.
o Ease with asking for and receiving support from others.
AJ: 8, I am aware that I am not comfortable asking for a lot of help, although I am aware that if someone is offering something I need, I will gladly and gratefully receive it.
oAbility to recognise your own resistance and patterns of defense.
AJ: 8, I am aware of it, I have lived in survival mode most of my life with people testing and pushing me to places I do not care to go. I default to this as a matter of course. This is more in my professional life than in my personal life. Some say I may be intimidating. My true friends allow for healthy boundaries and see my vulnerabilities. I have a hard time trusting people after a lot of hurt. I don’t believe I will be as subject to this on the Camino simply because we are all on the same level with the same great pursuit. If anything I should be able to explore these areas and work on the walls around me to be less impenetrable. It says something about the environment I live in, however.
